Tihoi preparation

Read advice and experience of others in the Tihoi Knowledge Sharing Guide here.

• Overnight Trip – Each year, there is a compulsory trip for all Year 9 students to stay at Tihoi Venture School overnight. This overnight experience allows students to see the campus, experience activities with the staff and see what’s involved in a typical Tihoi day.
• Tihoi Induction Evening – Prior to the start of your child attending Tihoi Venture School, the school hosts an evening with a presentation from the Tihoi Director. The Director offers tips on how best families and children can prepare for their Tihoi experience, including what equipment is needed to ensure their stay is comfortable. This is an important evening for both parents and students to attend.
• Sharing information about your child – If you have any key information about your child you believe is important to share with Tihoi staff, such as medical, social, or behavioural, you can do this through the Associate Headmaster. Parents also have an opportunity to book a meeting with the Tihoi Director before their child attends Tihoi.
• Preparing for homesickness – It is important to recognise that there may be some ‘homesickness’ for both parents and students during this time. Being open and honest with the Tihoi Director if this happens will help resolve homesickness quicker.
• Avoid making ‘deals’ with your child – Making deals with your child if they are uncomfortable about attending Tihoi may prevent them from fully making the most of their experience. It is likely they will focus on a way out rather than the adventure.
• Correct equipment for a comfortable stay – Tihoi has the harshest of weather conditions, so ensuring your child has good quality gear that fits and lasts will only enhance their stay at Tihoi.
• Fitness – St Paul’s Year 9 Physical Education programme is designed to help students improve their fitness in preparation for Tihoi. However, students are encouraged to increase their fitness further prior to going to Tihoi. Doing this as a family is a great way to spend quality time together and improve the physical well-being of each family member.
• Cooking and cleaning – A young person who can cook or bake well will contribute positively to the house. Your child should also understand the basics of cleaning and making a bed to a good standard.
• Goal setting – It is important for your child to set some aspirational goals about what they want to achieve during their time at Tihoi, but these goals need to be achievable. These should be reviewed each time he returns home.

Advice for parents

• Your child is required to write a letter home every week. They want nothing more than to receive a letter back from you too – ideally every week. These letters are treasured on arrival and will be kept for a lifetime.
• Your child may experience some challenging emotions while at Tihoi and these emotions might be reflected in their letters home to you. As a parent, this can be difficult to deal with from a distance. Please understand that your child may write when they are feeling low. Understand that overcoming homesickness can boost your child’s self-esteem. You will likely see improved confidence, social skills and independence. Being positive, firm and reassuring is the best way to get good outcomes in this circumstance. By the time the letter gets to you, your child or Tihoi staff are likely to have resolved the issue. If you have concerns, feel free to contact the Tihoi Director.
• Sometimes parents can get ‘homesick’ too. This is normal, natural anxiety associated with family separation. Please be careful how you communicate your own feelings and anxieties with your child while they are living away from you.
• Encourage your child to try everything and to be fully immersed in the Tihoi Venture School programme so they can gain the intended benefits from the experience.
• Ensure you sit down with your child at the mid-point of the programme to see how they are tracking. What goals have been achieved? Do any of these goals need to be reset?
• Attend Tihoi Community Day. This is an important day for your child to spend time with you as a family.

After Tihoi

There is no need to recreate the experience for your child who returns home by waking at 6.00 am and cooking on a wood stove. However, there are a few ideas to continue the momentum of the new habits formed from your child’s experience at Tihoi. Remember, keeping things simple is important.

Time: Spend quality, uninterrupted time together. No phones, texts, or emails—just focused family time. If taking photos, use a camera instead of a phone.

Responsibility: At Tihoi, students learn to cook, clean, navigate the bush, and take on challenges independently. Provide opportunities for them to take responsibility at home.

Reflection: Encourage reflection, a habit formed at Tihoi. This can be done before or after exams, ahead of Matariki, or as a family discussion over dinner. Writing reflections is also beneficial.

Plan a trip: Organise an outdoor activity each year, whether it’s an overnight hike, a fishing trip, or a bike ride. If the outdoors isn’t a fit, consider a cultural experience like a concert or theatre visit. Let students be involved in the planning.

Cook a meal: Encourage students to cook a meal for the family once a week, either independently or with help.

Learning from mistakes: Mistakes will happen. What matters is how they reflect, make things right, and grow from the experience.

Embrace new passions: Many return from Tihoi with a love for activities like sea kayaking or mountain biking. Support their interests and let them share their skills with you.