Year 12 students at St Paul’s Collegiate School recently met with former All Black and Chiefs player Stephen Donald (All Black #1075) for a Q&A session focused on confidence, criticism and leadership.
Stephen, known by many as ‘Beaver,’ grew up in Waiuku and is the only All Black to come from the small settlement on the Manukau estuary. Now a business owner alongside fellow rugby players Anton Lienert-Brown and Damien McKenzie, he spoke openly with students about the highs and lows of his professional career and the personal challenges that came with it.
The conversation began with a reflection on a difficult period in 2011, when a missed kick in a test match against Australia saw him become the target of widespread criticism. “It was a bleak year,” he said. “I used to receive hate mail both in my mailbox and through the Chiefs. I became a recluse and started going out in disguise to the supermarket, with a hoodie on and late at night. Unfortunately, as a result, I made my friend group smaller.”
Despite the public backlash, Stephen kept working towards his goals and would go on to kick the winning points in the final of the 2011 Rugby World Cup after initially not being selected for the team.
Through these challenging experiences, Stephen has learned how to keep focus and deal with hard times. Three students, Jackson Hill-Brown, Tatenda Chikwiri and Jacob Finau interviewed Stephen with further questions.
How did you keep your focus?
Stephen acknowledged that, although he may have appeared to be dealing with it from the outside, it wasn’t always the case. “I could have handled it better. There are better ways to deal with opposition,” he said. He advised seeking help from professionals, which became part of his approach later in his career.
Even after missing initial selection for the 2011 Rugby World Cup, he kept a positive outlook. “I still thought about going. I believed something might happen.”
What does good leadership look like?
He shared an example of leadership from All Black captain Richie McCaw. Before a tour to South Africa, the team had an overnight stay in Auckland ahead of a 3.30am departure. “Richie asked us to get up 30 minutes earlier for a team meeting. He reminded us we were going there to do a job and that we needed to be switched on before we even boarded the plane. It probably wasn’t a popular choice, but it was important.”
Stephen explained that leadership also means setting the tone through small actions. “A good leader will pick up the bags and the balls after the game and be the last to leave training. When I was a leader, I made sure I spoke to everyone – whether they were shy or the team joker. It was about getting everyone going in the same direction.”
How do you deal with criticism?
“You’re growing up in a different world to what I did,” Stephen told the students. “My advice is to block out criticism – and then think about where it came from. If it came from your coach, listen. If it came from your teammates, listen. But if it came from a journalist who doesn’t play the sport – don’t listen.”
How do you not put all your eggs in one basket?
He finished the session by encouraging students to explore other interests and not define themselves by a single goal. Joking about how long it took him to finish his degree at the University of Waikato, he told them to “give everything a go and see what transfers with your skills.”
